About Us | Expedition-Logistics

About Us

Not your usual dog & pony show

Well, all the leaves have fallen off the trees here at 10,000 feet; about the only thing still falling around here is the stock market.

Hey, let’s get out of the country until this whole economic downturn “thing” blows over, huh? The way we figure, we did our best in trying to talk our financial advisor in from the ledge, so screw him if he still wants to jump.

Come on … let's get our five-mile-a-gallon, monster-truck-driving, global-warming-inducing-selves to the airport and jump on the first thing smokin’ to Mexico, or even South America. At least now we can afford to fill that thirsty V8 to the half-way mark before maxing out the platinum-card. We promise it’ll be good for what ails you.

We’ve always said that sometimes the best solution to a morale problem is just to fire all the unhappy people. And, well, we don’t know about you, but we’re buzzing like third-graders on Pixie Stix in anticipation of January 20th, when Barack Obama becomes the 44th president … and our first king.

One thing that will be different about Obama's time in the White House is that there are going to be young girls running around the Oval Office.

It's been a long time since that happened, if you don't include interns.

The Bone Yard (where past opening rants go to rot)

In the beginning

It all started some time ago when this guy set out to craft the perfect employment scam. What he envisioned was a situation that would spare him the contemptuous disapproval of a judgmental society through the illusion of legitimate and gainful employment, while allowing him to make a pretty handy living basically just goofing off.

He tried his hand at being a man of leisure and then a gigolo, but one didn't pay the bills and the other harshed on his ego. Too stubborn — some might say slow-witted — to know when to give up, and determined to prostitute himself in one way or another, he became a climbing guide and started this here little company, instead.

The bottom line

We're glib, we're not politically correct or above insulting anyone if they deserve it, and we sure as hell don't take ourselves too seriously. Think of it as a quirky little corporate culture that starts at the top. Sardonic humor aside, though, we actually do have a (loosely defined) corporate code that we live by, more or less. Unless it's terribly inconvenient.

Don't worry your pretty little heads off though, because we take your safety in the mountains very seriously. Sure, we have decades of safe mountaineering experience, we're unique just like everybody else, blah, blah, blah. So what?

Consider airline pilots: Those guys joke around all the time, and they have a whole butt-load more responsibility than we ever will (not to mention the spiffy uniforms, beverage service, union lawyers).

As if you have anything better to do

So relax, pour yourself a drink, and peruse our humble website (the other worker drones at that soul-crushing job of yours are surfing useless crap, be different). When you find that special expedition that fluffs your skirt, our Online Application makes signing up for your next great adventure is as easy as 1, 2, 3.

If we made it any easier they’d roll out the red carpet and give us a Nobel Prize or something. A couple of us here are old enough to have worn Spandex back in the day, but a rented tux is pretty much where we draw the line.

Follow the links below to learn more about our expeditions, view itineraries, prices and dates, and to submit an Online Application.

Full disclosure

Before you get up off the couch and do anything rash, we should warn you: We might not be your cup of skinny, extra foam cappuccino. Some people (the dull, unintelligent ones) are too slow and insecure to hang with our brand of humor. They think it's mean and hurtful. Those are the same people who used to cry every time someone called them a poopie-head; the weak ones who will some day be culled from the herd, roasted on a blunt spit, and eaten. At least that's the hope upon which we're hanging our hats.

Every guiding website out there seems to have an endearingly unexceptional "why you should climb with us" page. So why not check out our refreshingly original, lemon scented Why You Shouldn't Climb With Us page instead, and read a bunch of reasons why you shouldn't ... um ... alright, well, just check it out, okay?

And since now's as good a time as any, you might as well go ahead and read The Offensive Disclaimer while you're at it.

Oh, yeah ... bookmark us for future reference. Or, if your life is desperately without purpose or hope, make us your homepage. We look forward to climbing with you. We mean it from the bottom of our little hearts. So what if it's mostly because we're too damn lazy to work real jobs?

Of the many paths you'll take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

Geo. Gipson, The Big Kahuna